In my journey of deconstructing my faith and rebuilding it around Christ and historical orthodoxy, I’ve also noticed that there are many in the Christian faith who resist the word or experience of “deconstruction” because of people on the internet who have become anti-God and anti-Christian in their deconstruction. I would argue that, while understandable, … More A Starter Kit to Rebuild Your Faith
The following post is the final part of a series describing my story of deconstructing my Christian faith and reconstructing it within orthodoxy rather than choosing to deconvert. Make sure to read up on Part 1 and Part 2 before moving on! Where Else Would I Go? There’s a song by John Mark Pantana that goes like this: … More Deconstruction: your faith has saved you, Part 3
The following post is part of a series describing my story of deconstructing my Christian faith and reconstructing it within orthodoxy rather than choosing to deconvert. Make sure to read up on Part 1 before moving on! In January 2019, as I was sitting in the quiet and writing in my journal, an image came … More Deconstruction: self-exposure, Part 2
The following post is part of a series describing my story of deconstructing my Christian faith and reconstructing it within orthodoxy rather than choosing to deconvert. What is “Deconstruction”? Deconstruction is a hot term floating around Christian circles right now and feels amplified because social media, big-name pastors, Christian leaders, and docuseries like “Shiny Happy … More Deconstruction: the struggle with God, Part 1
I know the love of God the most when it rains. As a little girl in the Pacific Northwest, before I knew about bad things beyond a scraped knee, it rained. It was a consistent rhythm, and I was a sponge for it as the nostalgic walls of childhood innocence were building up deep in … More The Love of God Lives in the Dry Places, too
March woke me up with her atmospheric rivers, and unrealized crises, and pea-sized hail, and burdened sleep, and gentle rain, and school shootings, and warming sunbeams amidst brisk, prolonged Winter air and a cosmic war, and flooded fields and homes and roads and lives, and bright evening walks to look at the painful gift she … More A Poem: March in my bones
My deepest longing and most tender pain point is the desire to be seen. I mean, seen. I want the right people to notice when I’m wearing a mask and that I’m leaking out, even when I don’t realize it myself. I know this longing very well, and yet I still hide myself away behind … More To See & Be Seen
I am heavy with my own mortality, unawake to it until someone reminds me of Lent, the season a great cloud of witnesses remembered and embodied throughout 2,000 years — “from dust you came, to dust you shall return” — with the Hope in mind that the Son would rise again and with Him, we … More A Poem: Swallowed up by Life
I know I’m needy before I even come awake to it, but I only come awake because of its deep, isolated, long-ignored ache right smack in the middle of my chest. It feels like what a small puppy looks like sitting on the side of the road in the rain, alone. I almost can’t even … More On Neediness
Help me stop and look at what is remarkable around me — let me see what I thought was ordinary and recognize it as hallowed ground — help me to behold the sacred, and keep hold of it, even if I panic with holy fear, so aware that I am but dust — for even … More A Prayer: to recognize God