The following post is part of a series describing my story of deconstructing my Christian faith and reconstructing it within orthodoxy rather than choosing to deconvert. Make sure to read up on Part 1 before moving on! In January 2019, as I was sitting in the quiet and writing in my journal, an image came … More Deconstruction: self-exposure, Part 2
The following post is part of a series describing my story of deconstructing my Christian faith and reconstructing it within orthodoxy rather than choosing to deconvert. What is “Deconstruction”? Deconstruction is a hot term floating around Christian circles right now and feels amplified because social media, big-name pastors, Christian leaders, and docuseries like “Shiny Happy … More Deconstruction: the struggle with God, Part 1
Over the years, “I love you” has become a platitude I haven’t wanted anymore; a statement so often full of feelings of affection and good intentions and empty of embodiment — and so the one to whom these words are given too often ends up crumbling because the support that should have embodied love was … More To My Fellow Christians: reclaiming the sanctity of Love
Will humility always feel like sudden death? Like arrows in my back that force me to the ground and leave me with just enough strength to drag myself a little further and cry out, have mercy on me, Son of David! Nothing left to give but a broken body and small breath in my lungs. … More A Poem: Humble One
I can’t count how many times I’ve been in my own home and said to myself, “I just want to go home.” But there was nowhere to go. Left with a kind of existential angst and unmet longing, in moments like these I’m usually reminded that what I’m really longing for is completeness and for … More An Exile and a Stranger
Grace is the free gift of God’s enablement. – Mildred Bangs Wynkoop I am a living thing, with a body, a soul, and a mind — living, even with a body broken, sometimes unfamiliar; living, even with a soul sometimes unexplainably sick; living, even with a mind finite, failing me into frustration. I am a … More A Poem: Living
Winter’s settling in and I know Creation’s letting go of all it bore and carried throughout the year; and it, too, is settling into the hands of Winter who offers, not death, but rest — deep, long, hungered-for rest to the hemisphere whose turn it is to stop, and wait, and sleep — if only … More A Poem: Rhythms of Winter
I am one who is always pining for perfection: in body, soul, relationships, etc. This is usually a subconscious motive or end goal I always have churning in the back of my mind. I’m very unaware of it until it’s so obviously bursting at the seams again. I can’t escape it, this deep, intrinsic longing … More My Peace I Give to You
December 13th was the feast day of Saint Lucia. I first heard about Saint Lucia (or Lucy) last year during the Advent season, and I was quickly captured by her faithfulness. She lived in second century Rome during the reign of Emperor Diocletian. She was a Christian, and this was a time when Christianity was … More For the Joy Set Before You
After growing up in the Church, there came a time when faith started to feel so blind and ambiguous to me. “Just trust, don’t question. You doubt? You don’t have enough faith.” These were the subconscious thoughts that crippled me when I felt afraid, confused, depressed, anxious, etc. Uncertainties and emotions would be swept under … More Let Faith Speak, and Go Where the Scent of Holiness Leads